


Only you need know

by PerturbedPomegranate



Category: Grethan - Fandom
Genre: Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-02
Updated: 2019-11-02
Packaged: 2021-01-18 17:17:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21280376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PerturbedPomegranate/pseuds/PerturbedPomegranate
Summary: A simple tattoo can cause some trouble. Let's hope not too much.
Relationships: Ethan Dolan & Grayson Dolan, Ethan Dolan/Grayson Dolan
Comments: 6
Kudos: 44
Collections: Grethan





	Only you need know

Ethan shifted uncomfortably as a particularly sharp pain pierced his neck. Seeping into the skin just so made his body want to move away and protect the sensitive spot. However once that one moment had passed he promised himself to stay still, wanting the small cursive words to be legible against his reddened collar.  
-[only my angels know]-  
It was a strange set of words to piece together, which he was aware of; and it was honestly intentional on his part. Ethan found it made the tattoo more interesting, but he also hoped it would hide the meaning behind it under its ambiguity.  
Ethan had after all, not planned on revealing its nature to anyone, sometimes he wished, not even to himself. If he were to ever come out and admit his secrets, sometimes he felt like the world would begin to collapse then and there.  
No, he wasn’t feeling overdramatic either. Despite his notorious history.  
This honestly represented a secret he sincerely intended to take to his grave, and maybe even keep after that.  
But he found it was hard to stay ignorant of his own emotions, so this, in essence, eased the part of him that had come so close to revealing that thought so many times by now.  
Every day he came closer to saying those words, ones he could no longer count in their confession, they had become too wordy in their long time being suppressed. Growing in the amount that filled his mouth just waiting patiently to roll off his tongue.  
He closed his eyes, trying to relax; only to picture a silver winged earring hanging off a tanned ear.

So as the last buzzing of the tattoo gun stopped and his new ink was wrapped, he felt lighter as he walked out the parlour and drove slowly home in his jeep.  
—-

For once he thought he might actually let this feeling go as he stepped in the door of his and Grayson’s shared home.

It didn’t last. Of course it wouldn’t.  
As Ethan found himself padding into the kitchen and staring at his brother’s back hunched over the stove, he knew it would never stay away long.  
Still he unpocketed his phone and maneuvered in a practiced manner around his brother’s wide frame, plopping into his regular seat in the dining room and staring down at his screen.  
Grayson grumbled “you could at least say hello, asshat.”  
“Hello asshat.” Ethan replied, barely shifting his gaze.  
Grayson chuckled good-naturedly, “You’re such a dick.” Grayson continued, going back to grilling some chicken finally.  
Ethan found himself biting his cheek in amusement. Their usual routine continuing as normal.  
But even then, he dreaded for Grayson to figure out he hadn’t gone to a dermatology appointment like he had earlier claimed, or to somehow notice the fresh black underneath his turtlenecked shirt. Such thoughts eventually faded the longer he focused on his phone.

“Dinner is served.” Grayson stated, somewhat proudly as he plopped down a abnormally large helping of chicken and corn in front of Ethan.  
Ethan looked up at him unimpressed; never intending to respond positively to his brother’s pride in his cooking abilities. Still, he double-tapped one last insta photo and put it on standby to scrape at the corn.  
“Great…” Ethan mocked, even despite chewing on a mouthful of the peaches and cream. Sometimes there were moments like this when all felt normal, like his feelings didn’t exist in the form they took.  
Though as he looked to see Grayson beaming at him simply for taking a bite of his health food crap, he felt a lump settle in his throat upon swallowing.  
—

It was already after seven when Ethan got around to doing his workout, throwing on a T made him feel uncertain, as though all his thoughts were being revealed along with his collarbone. Grayson had already finished his workout earlier since he was accustomed to sleeping earlier as it was, and as Ethan had been gone until nearly six in the evening.  
Honestly, the urge was there to even lock the door; perhaps that would keep Grayson from viewing his new tattoo forever.  
Or at the very least until Ethan found a false explanation as to its meaning. One which he hoped Grayson would believe.  
But as Grayson apparently decided to forego editing at the moment and stepped in the workout room, Ethan swore he was this close to falling off the treadmill.  
Leave it to his twin to not only sense when it was worst to bother Ethan, but also to immediately zero in on the fresh ink even as he was running.  
“Uhhh… E, What is that?” Grayson asked, stopping in the doorway and staring at Ethan’s heaving chest.  
“What is what?” Ethan replied sheepishly, trying for nonchalant.  
Maybe his heavy breathing would make him sound innocent in his response, he thought- reaching over and upping the speed of the treadmill.  
“Uh, uh. No faking with me.” Grayson continued. “When in the hell did you get a neck tat?  
Screw dehydration. Ethan knew he should’ve just worked out in a hoodie. 

“Whats going on E? You told me you were getting your skin checked? Grayson prodded, starting to sound concerned that his adult brother refused to share in every detail of his life.  
Ethan stopped the treadmill, stepping on the sides, then off to walk to the weights. He sat softly on the bench and angled his torso away from his twin.  
“I did get my skin checked. And then I got it inked.” Ethan wasn’t going to get out of a conversation and he could already sense it. So instead it seemed he was going to dig himself a hole to lie in. “I just didn’t specify.” He continued.

Grayson started to look like he was deciding whether or not to be furious. Its not like he was against Ethan getting a tattoo as they both already had multiple, but the fact that he didn’t tell him the truth of his appointment was seriously unsettling him. “Cut the crap E” he started, “We both know you don’t hide things from me for nothing.”  
Memories of a slicing sensation in his palm and broken glass crunching under his sneakers suddenly came to mind.  
But this time wasn’t like that one, it was meant to be a relief to have these words inked, like an admission to himself about the perpetual state of his heart, but it certainly was starting to feel like more trouble than it was worth.  
Maybe the whole situation was just trouble.

“It’s not like that.” Ethan reiterated: to himself as much as Grayson.  
Grayson seemed to search his face after that, luckily finding enough to diminish his budding anger.  
“…Alright.” Grayson concluded. “But let me see it properly.”  
That line may as well have made his heart skip by physically opening his chest cavity and grabbing his heart itself. Ethan already felt naked at the idea of Grayson viewing his tattoo too closely. But he couldn’t fully decipher which emotion was causing him the most anxiety.  
Did he want Grayson to see? To question it with scrutiny? Or to somehow immediately understand. Comfort him perhaps…  
He decided none of those were correct.  
“No.”

This time Grayson’s anger returned faster than it had left him.  
“What do you mean no?” He asked, stalking towards Ethan on the bench. “I didn’t ask.” He roughly grabbed Ethans right shoulder, pushing it back to turn his left side forward. Ethan’s hands went up in loose fists to block sight of the small four words, defending himself before thinking about it. As Grayson continued to try and move his arms out of the way Ethan pushed one of his fists roughly into Grayson’s jaw.  
“Ow!” Grayson groaned, letting go of Ethan’s left hand to grip his face.

“Let go!” Ethan yelled, squirming against Grayson’s still very tight grip on his right hand which blocked his way to the hall.  
Grayson moved his hand from his face and recaptured Ethan’s left hand to stop his attempt at escape. “Not until you tell me what’s going on!” He yelled back. He quieted. “I don’t like this E… Please don’t start hiding things from me again.”  
Ethan paused.  
He had never considered that him doing something like hiding his tattoo would bring up their past.

Ethan didn’t want to go back to that time either. When he began to hold almost a resentment towards Grayson. In a state where he didn’t know where to put all his negative emotions. When he had almost felt like dying.

Finally he lifted his head to look at Grayson who looked distressed. Like he was a couple shoves away from being sent into a panic attack.  
Ethan felt like he had been punched.

“No. Gray, that’s not it. Seriously. I just-“ Ethan knew he couldn’t explain what the tattoo was about, but maybe he could at least ease Grayson’s mind by explaining why he didn’t want to share in his experience of getting it. “Grayson, I genuinely like, just wanted to keep this tattoo to myself. It doesn’t have anything to do with you.”  
The tension between Grayson’s brows had eased at that, but he still looked entirely confused.  
“Then why did you try so hard to even hide that you were getting it? Grayson spoke. “You wouldn’t act like that for no reason Ethan. I know you.”  
Ethan looked at him. Closely. The worry in his eyes, the pull on the sides of his mouth, the clench of his jaw.  
“I know you do. I just needed to keep the meaning of this tattoo to myself and I-“ He swallowed.  
“I didn’t want you to ask me.”

Grayson let go of Ethan’s wrists completely now and let his arms fall loose at his sides. “But why?”  
Ethan thought fuck it, he may as well be honest rather than make things worse.  
He wouldn’t elaborate. But he should at least explain the bare minimum to his twin.  
He looked at Grayson to watch him.  
“Cause I’m afraid you’d be the only one to know me enough to…” Ethan paused again. “To figure out what I’m talking about.”

Grayson scrunched his nose. “Ethan. I’m asking why you want the meaning to stay secret.” He grabbed his face gently to get Ethan to look at his more directly. “You know that.”  
Ethan couldn’t help the grimace that passed his features. “Yeah I do.”  
“But even just telling you that feel like too much information Grayson. So just, cut it out okay?”  
He found that he couldn’t stand his warm hand on his cheek very well right now; but instead of shirking him away he just gently tugged the hand down.  
“Okay, I’ll leave it alone.” Grayson conceded.  
“On the condition-“ he began again, only to have Ethan grimace further. “That it doesn’t mean anything bad like that you’re gonna hurt yourself or anything.” He finished.  
Ethan’s grimace turned into a bit of shock.  
“What?! Come on, no. Gray, I’m not stupid. I don’t wanna freaking like- I don’t know. Hurt myself or somebody else or anything.”  
At last Grayson looked relieved. “Alright.”

Moving away slowly he stopped again at the door. Ethan not having got up from his spot on the bench.  
“But if you ever do anything bad to yourself I’m gonna kill you.” He threatened, exiting down the hall and padding away out of ear shot.  
Ethan watched the door past when he left.  
“Dumbass. You don’t threaten someone not to hurt themselves.”

He felt a bit lighter at the joking attitude of Grayson’s last exchange. But also heavier as he felt the pestering to physically see the tattoo wasn’t going to end just yet.

—

**Author's Note:**

> I'm aware that this is a Grethan fic. But if you don't ship Grethan I am unaware as to why you may have read it... Please no negative comments as you shouldn't have read this work if it wasn't in your tastes.
> 
> For those who ship Grethan, enjoy. This has not been edited so let me know if there's anything standing out.


End file.
